Hi everyone! When I do a Q&A on my Instagram I always get questions about dating long distance so I figured it would be nice to share my thoughts in a more permanent place. If you’re new here, my boyfriend and I have been dating long distance for the last 4 years. Our first 3 years were a bit easier since we were only 1.5 hours away from one another, but now we do distance from Buffalo to NYC. Technically it’s only an hour flight, but to drive it would take me about 7 hours to get there. Dating long distance definitely isn’t ideal, but Jax and I both really love our jobs right now and really enjoy focusing on our individual growth and supporting each others success. Plus we’ve been having so much fun splitting time between city life and the suburbs of Buffalo.

As we’ve gone through the last few years, we’ve definitely learned a lot and I figured I’d share a few of my tips for distance dating!

1. Make Communication a Priority

I know this sounds silly because of course communication is important, but texting, phone calls, and FaceTime can become your primary way of staying connected so it’s even more important in a long distance relationship.

Jax and I try to work around each others schedules and typically chat on the phone every morning and FaceTime before bed. The easiest way to make sure you are communicating well is to set a schedule that works for both of you. Whether it’s a quick morning check-in or a video call before bed, consistency helps maintain a sense of closeness. Typically Jax and I are both really busy during the work day and not on our phones much, but even a quick text checking in or sharing something fun from the day goes a long way!

2. Plan Visits and Set Dates in Advance

Having something to look forward to can make the distance feel more manageable. Planning visits to see each other whenever possible allows you to build lasting memories and reinforces your commitment to the relationship.

Tip: Even if visits can’t happen all the time, try to plan them a few months in advance. Knowing that you’ll see each other soon helps you both stay focused on the relationship and gives you something to count down to.

3. Share Experiences, Even from Afar

We are alwayssss sending photos and stories back and forth with one another. It’s so fun to share in each others day even One of the unique challenges of long-distance dating is not having the ability to do everyday things together. However, you can still share experiences. I personally am not a fan of zoom dinner dates or things like that but we always love to watch the same shows so we can chat about them + watch together when we see each other! We also love to share music with one another and create playlists on Spotify.

4. Trust and Transparency

Trust is the foundation of any relationship, but in long-distance relationships, it becomes even more important. Without daily in person interactions, it’s easy for misunderstandings to pop-up. A lot of times I find that feelings are not the easiest to translate over a FaceTime call. It’s so important to keep the lines of communication open, be honest, and always address issues head-on. Another tip for this is reassuring the other person that you are there to listen and support them.

If something’s bothering you, talk about it and never go to sleep mad. Don’t let little things fester, as they can become bigger problems over time. Transparency and trust will keep your relationship strong and prevent unnecessary misunderstandings.

5. Be Creative with Surprises

Surprising each other with thoughtful gestures can make the distance feel shorter and show your partner that you’re thinking about them. From sending a handwritten letter to ordering their favorite meal, small surprises can go a long way in maintaining the excitement and fun in your relationship. Sometimes flying to NYC can be exhausting for me on a Friday night or Saturday morning after a long workweek but Jax always is so sweet and surprises me with coffee, flowers, breakfast, a handwritten note, or other things when I arrive. It shows me how much he appreciates me and is so thoughtful. I also love to surprise him with little things every so often to let him know I’m thinking of him.

6. Support Each Other’s Individual Growth

Long-distance relationships provide the space to focus on your own personal growth which is something I personally love, especially in my 20’s. Encourage each other to pursue your individual goals and hobbies. Whether it’s a new career path, furthering your education, or starting a new workout routine, giving each other the time and support to grow will only strengthen the bond between you. Jax has been studying for his CFA recently and I’ve been doing my best to support him with this and encourage him along the way!

Celebrate each other’s achievements, no matter how big or small. It shows you’re invested not just in the relationship, but in each other’s personal journeys as well.

7. Stay Positive About the Future & Plan Together

It’s easy to get discouraged when you’re far apart, but it’s important to stay positive and look forward to the future. Discuss your long-term goals together and make sure you are on the same page with things. I’m the type of person who plans out a timeline in my head, and I feel so blessed that Jax and I check in with each other and are able to share our timeline for things. Whether it’s the possibility of living in the same city or a specific time frame for closing the distance, having a plan in place helps you both stay motivated. Right now Jax and I are hoping to decide in a year or so which one of us will move, but right now we are enjoying this time and know we will work on making this decision together when need be.

Set goals as a couple—whether that’s when you’ll be able to see each other next, when you plan to move in together, or even when you plan to take a big trip together. Having a shared vision can help keep things positive and fun!

8. Enjoy the Benefits of Long-Distance Dating

Lastly, remember that long-distance dating doesn’t have to be all bad! It’s always funny to me the reaction I get from people when I share we date long distance. In many ways, it can be an opportunity to deepen your emotional connection and have a lot of fun. Without the distractions of daily life, you and your partner have the chance to build a strong foundation for your relationship.

Take advantage of this time to learn about more about each other in ways that might not happen in more traditional relationships. When you do see each other in person, the quality of your time together will be so much more meaningful.

I hope you all enjoyed & can apply some of my tips if you date long distance! Thanks for reading!