I’m always very mindful about how often I talk about the loss of my dad because I know grief can be such a tender and triggering subject. I truly want this space to be a comforting, uplifting place for you. But today, I felt it was important to open up a bit more about my journey with grief since losing my dad a little over two years ago. Losing someone so close to me has changed me so much and I couldn’t miss my dad more.

Grief is such a strange, unpredictable experience. Some days I feel really strong and steady, like I’ve found my footing again. And then out of nowhere, it can hit me like a wave. One moment I’m laughing or having a great day, and the next, I’m overwhelmed by sadness. For example, I recently went on a spring break trip with my mom—something we’ve done for years and something I’ve grown to treasure even more now. This trip in particular was so special. The weather was perfect, the dinners were delicious, the beach days were peaceful and restorative…everything felt just right.

But when we got home and were walking through the airport, I saw a girl, probably a few years younger than me, run into her dad’s arms after landing. It was such a happy moment for her and she definitely didn’t even notice me. She gave him the biggest, most joyful hug, and it completely caught me off guard. I was so happy to be home after such a lovely trip, but that moment made me so sad. I wanted to run up to her and tell her how lucky she is—to have that moment, that hug, that presence in her life. It reminded me that no matter how much time passes, some parts of grief are just always there.

When my dad was first diagnosed with cancer, my therapist mentioned that I might experience something called anticipatory grief. I thought that maybe by mentally preparing myself I might be okay when he passed. But the truth is, no matter how much you try to brace yourself, there’s no real way to prepare for the reality of losing someone you love so deeply. Life without my dad has been so hard. There’s so much I want to tell him, so many stories I want to share, and questions I still need answers to. I think a lot about the future—big moments like getting married, starting a family, and building a life I know he’d be proud of—and I know that there will always be a piece missing in those moments.

One of the biggest lessons grief has taught me is the importance of giving yourself grace. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to need rest. I’m not great at slowing down—I’m usually running from one thing to the next, always on the go, always trying to do it all. But I’ve learned that when I don’t give myself time to breathe and process, it all catches up with me. When I hit burnout, the emotions I’ve pushed down tend to bubble to the surface. That’s when I have to remind myself that rest is not weakness—it’s necessary. Feeling your feelings is not a setback—it’s healing.

Even though I miss him terribly, I truly believe my dad is still with me. I feel his presence in little ways all the time—in quiet moments, in small signs, and sometimes in a sense of peace that washes over me when I need it most. I know he’s watching over me. But there are still so many things I wish I could tell him, so many moments I want to share.

To anyone reading this who’s also navigating grief: I’m so sorry. It’s a hard road, and no one’s path looks the same. Just know that you’re not alone, and I’m always here if you need someone to talk to or simply hold space for what you’re going through. I read this quote recently that really resonated with me and wanted to share. I feel so lucky to have had so much love in my life from my dad and hope to share that with others. Thank you all so much for constantly checking in, sending messages and being so thoughtful. It means so much.

“Grief is all the unexpressed love that lives with you until you pass.”